Ahhhhhh Melacca, or Malacca - who cares, you'll love this one...

Now to explain first this is going to be quite tough as I would love to share this experience actually across two blogs. I know most of you know I have family and food blogs running concurrently. Actually I now have three.

I have sort of stopped the old food blog and started afresh at http://www.islifearecipe.com – it is a new template style which I really like, but also MUST caveat is work in progress and absolutely no where near complete even in its structure – I am such a dumb arse at this type of thing, so am as usual heavily reliant on friends. But anyways, that’s how it is – running both foodie blogs at moment until I am happy, and may even retire this one to the new platform too as I really like that, and also I can start sharing video links with you again!

Wow what a flipping ramble. To the point so I am now again writing two blogs family and food, and as a trip to Melacca is sort of 90% food, a lot of this blogs is the same also. You have potential to reads it in two locations – although as I said the old food blog is not yet retired until new is 100% squeaky clean. I trust you as friends, family & followers to give me any honest opinion and advice please.

To the plot…

We did it.

We packed up and escaped smoggy smoggy Singapore at 0830 Saturday am. We were off to Melacca for one night, or 48 hours of clear skies and fresh air – yes even sharing a toilet in one room with Ollie would be cleaner air that Singapore at the moment folks.

Or so we thought…
It was COVERED in bloody smog too – oh sh*t.

Well all the way there on a journey of 300 or so Km’s it looked potentially worse than Singapore, then we finally get to Melacca and its not too bad. But it got worse later in the evening, and was seriously bad on the Sunday morning scuppering all plans of swimming pools and things. But cleared again about midday when we were off to lunch (more to follow), until we left about 1330 and all the way home and then in to Singapore – BOOM clear as a bell (well clear as a dusty bell anyways!).

Were we put off – NO.
Did Mary, me and the kids have fun – YES, REALLY GOOD FUN.
Did we eat well – SHIT YES!
We had a bloody brilliant time, masks and all at times.

Here we go.

We arrive there after driving round and round and round Melacca for an hour or so trying to find our hotel, gradually getting closer every time we stopped to ask directions! Let me explain a little why – in our defence.

A listed UNESCO World Heritage Site since July 2008 (together with George Town of Penang – yep exactly where Ollie went for his school trip),
Located on Southern region of the Malay Peninsular next to the Straits of Malacca – now I wonder where it got its name, hmmm,
3rd smallest state after Perlis and Penang,
Very prosperous until those naughty Portuguese came in to power (well conquering it) in 1511, massively removing the power of the Sultans and its very Trade, and then trying to kill the religion by bringing in Catholicism – but because of that there is a Portuguese influence on food and building,
The Dutch then had a go back in 1641 when kicked out those naughty Portuguese, although not a great deal happened re the trade situation. They stayed though until 1798,
In 1824 the Union Jack was erected there, yep the Dutch handed over to us from then until something like 1946 the British East India Company was running her,
She is now part of the Federation of Malaysia with Malaysia’s independence – good on her,
She is VERY similar to George Town in Penang, Singapore Malay Quarter, in fact most of the Asian shipping ports of it’s time – it’s just great!
As a foodie this is the GREAT part, she is a mix of approx;

57% Malays
32% Chinese, including Peranakan
Indians
Kristang (people with Portuguese blood line)
etc

Dripping with places to visit and hang out;

St Peter’s Church – Dutch one in 1700’s,
Fort A Famosa – interesting one this, originally Portuguese construction in 1511, us Brits then said tell you what let’s the blow bugger up as we’re new Sherriff’s in town. This action was stopped by the one and only Sir Stamford Raffles, of course of Singapore fame,
Tranqerah Mosque – oldest in Malacca,
Jonker Walk – antique shops and food, oh my goodness food – this is also where they shut the street on a Saturday night and have the night market,
The list goes on, and on…

So to my point. It is a MASS of tiny streets and roads, all lined with amazing shop houses. So narrow it mainly has to be one way. So my friends you try finding yourself around a market town from the 1500’s in a car, with Mary who is just rubbish at map reading (sorry babe but you are), reading non-English signs, on a Saturday which is market day, with two kids starting to get aggy in the back, using a map from 2008 – I rest my case.

Anyways we got there, ha ha – and here’s where the fun really started!

Apologies now in advance for the photo quality, as it really was VERY VERY foggy on occasion, and even my mate Ged could not have done better (sorry that’s BS of course he could) – anyways they did come out pretty damn good.

We’re staying here.

If you happen to come to Melaka, I would absolutely recommend this place – Casa del Rio, 88 Jalan Kota Lasamana. It is a beautiful hotel, perfectly located to all the action, right on the river and footsteps from the UNESCO nominated heritage town centre.

I mean come on just look at it!

Awaiting the suite (cough cough – free upgrade) – we were served ginger and lemon grass ices, and cold towels. Yes the kids were in heaven! And here they are in heaven – what a hotel lobby, WOW!

Quickly before we pop to the room – here we all are.

Tired from a long journey yes, but ready to explore – hell yes!

Before we could even leave we get served this as a welcome treat.

Served by a guy who knocked on the door;

“I’ve come to turn down your bed!” he said,

“Hold on a minute I didn’t even offer it to you!” said I.

The famous dish Onde-Onde. This is Prenakan in origin. Sweet and savoury! Rice flour, palm sugar and coconut – not a bad start to the culinary affair we were about to have over next 2 days.

OK one more quick shot from the balcony to the room – NOICE!

And to lunch.

You know me – where there’s a queue it has to be good – right?

Well there was a monster at this, and it was indeed the very place Laurence and Kirsty had bought Nina and I with the kids nearly 5 years ago now.

I had to try it again.

Sadly it did not live up to memories.

No chicken rice balls and about 4/5th of the menu being sold out.

Still I love the history of this place.

I don’t know for certain but you tell me this is not;

Grandad,
Dad,
Son.

All working in the same food place.

That I love and respect.

Quick antiquing artsy fartsy shot of a lantern in this place.

It really is a beautiful restaurant.

An old shop house converted, so a big courtyard in the middle and you just sort of sit around it!

Well worth a visit, but for flavours and quality – read on to tomorrows happening!

Kids are happy and eager having order already.

Ollie testing his metal already by spooning neat chili sauce in his mouth – I followed and boy this one had some kick, so nice but wey hey don’t spill it on the table it’ll make a huge hole!

Mary ordered fish head Nyonya style like a spicy stew. She didn’t like as it was a river fish of some kind and therefore quite earthy tasting. I agree there.

Chicken was nice, served on bone though – not way I love it to be honest.

It was nice.

The sauce was lovely though! Liked that a lot.

No rice balls – very disappointing!

This was a winner – Chinese cabbage stir fried in some sauce or other – this was great! Really really liked this one!

Taking OFF all filters and just shooting ‘vanilla’.

It’s a beautiful place along the river BUT check the smog out – not nice at all.

All coughing and spluttering, but luckily we had our masks from Singapore.

Starting to clear we now join our boat trip down the river.

This was a great trip for about 45 minutes or so.

Like all those similar cities including Singapore, it grew from trade off the river from smaller boats that got stuff from the bigger ships more at harbour.

So as you go down the river you see the old shop houses now converted to bars, restaurants, galleries, boutiques, antique shops – it’s just beautiful!

OK apart from the shot below.

So very sorry to this lady if she ever happens to see this.

I promise I was taking a shot of a hawker that looked really cool to get the rough location and name.

When reviewing the picture I spotted her.

Now she’s either been stung on the lip by a massive bee, or she is sucking the very sourest lemon man has ever know.

Sorry love!

After the sour lemon experience you then hit these houses that have been painted with beautiful murals – all different designs and colours. Come on Boat Quay, Clark Quay – how about it. I think they look great!

Sorry did I say Boat Quay and Clark Quay – hold on a minute where are we?

Are we home?

How similar is this.

Look what Ollie spotted – so big the boat driver stopped in his tracks and reversed back so we could all get a photo.

A MASSIVE monitor lizard. Kid you not about 6-8 feet in length. Just sitting there atop the mangroves.

HUGE!

Clearly looking quite proud of himself and VERY handsome – nice one Ollie!

No matter how handsome you’re still not going on the flipping pirate ship mate – this is a UNESCO Heritage Site you bugger (private joke).

Ollie’s toilet the next morning after the chilli contest.

Nah – not really, just messing – although…

I would give you in the West a MILLION guesses for this, and what is it – I bet you would not have a clue. OK go on then scroll down.

We bought one of each – yep on normal and one with Durian (yes I did!!!).

Simply gorgeous is Dodol – sort of melted cane sugar with molasses (normal) and add some durian for the other. It is sticky like a new-borns first nappy. But tastes – WOW! Don’t eat with your eyes folks.

Ahhhhhh me hearties – off to the pirate ship next!

A museum of the port history of Melacca.

All very interesting actually, although a tad boring for the wee ones.

Maybe some fun would help – weathering the storms on the high seas?

Not in a blue t-shirt and rather cute pin dress you wouldn’t be kids!

“I see no ships, but do I see land on the starboard bow Captain?” they said,

“No it’s behind you, you two donuts!” said I.

NIGHT MARKET – NIGHT MARKET

I love this picture below for three reasons. But first, we spotted on one of the first stalls in the night market – Nyonya Dumplings. Basically sticky rice surrounding this sort of char siew pork, wrapped in a banana leaf and steamed. These were still warm as the guys had just cooked them at home and put them on his stall.

But why i love this picture, three reasons;

I am tucking in to this delicious packet of pork, stick rice, banana leafy thing,
You cannot see the literally 100’s of people walking towards me (that I can) murmuring under their breath “look at that pretentious twat”,
I love the guy to the left, again murmuring “what kind of f*cking shirt is that you dick head?”

Anyway who cares.

Ollie and I loved this thing – Mary did too, but sorry hun I didn’t get a snap of you munching too!

Just delicious.

One or two stalls down and this.

What is that?

Looks too interesting to walk past, I must have a look.

And hold on a minute is that SPAM, is it really, yes it is it’s SPAM.

STOP everyone!!!

Let’s have a looksie at this.

OK it is Han-Bao, apparently literally meaning hamburger in Chinese – this as you can see comes from Taiwan.

You order you ‘interior’ ingredient. Of course being a Brit I went with ‘ham’ – come on guys it’s flipping SPAM from a can and you’re calling it ‘ham’. Anyways go with the flow. I’ll have one of them please!

It goes like this;

Crack egg in to the round hole which is a series of round holes atop a burner,
Add some sprinkling of something,
Add some spices of spam and let it cook a while,
Then in burner with holes number two add some batter and transfer the spam thing from burner with holes number one in to the batter mix as below, and let it cook a while…

Repeat back in burner number one some batter mix and flip the thing from burner two on top of that and again let it cook a while.

Takes about two minutes and I had mine with mayo, read on 1st though.

So whilst it is cooking I ask to take his picture and he sort of turns away and flicks his spatula at me.

“I say my man, don’t you know who I am – we ruled you blighters in 1824, haven’t you read my blog – dear me! God Save the Queen!”

Whatever – you end up with this little beauty.

It’s like a Taiwanese Egg McMuffin (can’t believe I have mentioned that here) – OK only in looks. Sort of a batter on each side cooked to crispy, then egg and SPAM in the middle, with the mayo on top – oh yeah street food to die for – heavenly!

Mary’s food nose kicked in then.

“I can smell dried fish, I can, I can smell it.”

“Yeah I can too smell something that smells like it has been dead for rather a long time hun. It must be dried fish.” “Yummy you know much I love that, let’s go find it!”

Shit! We did!

OK not really, it’s these little buggers below. Baby squid that have been dried in spices and then served up following a brief bash and flip on the BBQ to get that smoky coal flavour going on.

Not a lover myself as you know – BUT, Mary, Ollie and Amy were tucking in to these as if they were a bad of sweets.

In fact look carefully at the right of the picture – hmmm I wonder who’s bump, hands and cash that is – could it be Kennett Jnr at his/her (yep still don’t know) 1st street market in Asia!

It was never ending.

Bubbling curries of fish balls.

This place we tried to get in both days, but the queue at ALL times was overflowing and up the street on Jonkers Walk – filled with locals, MUST be good – always a next time. “I know where you live Jonkers 88!”

Even to Japanese octopus balls – deep fried in to little balls in a special skillet, served with bento flakes and some mayo and other sauce – yep we’ll have a tray of them too please!

Can you tell we were pigging out here.

You just really could not help yourself!

This guy was amazing – making this sort of honeycomb texture sugar thing.

He must be 80 if he’s a day and look he has a picture of mum and dad above his fair.

They must have been a family manning this stall for decades.

We bought both malt and mint flavours – oh yeah twas amazing – as long as you don’t mind losing all your teeth, your current sized clothes, having to pay for two seats on the bus etc…

They even served monkey in the market, and pink monkey at that!

Another place we tried to get in for food.

This even smaller than 88 and potentially with a bigger queue.

Stating bold statement of hand me down recipes from mother to mother to daughter.

Nancy – I now know where you live again! We’ll be back to sample your Nyonya fair!

Went a tad artsy here – come on forgive me, don’t forget that new camera and some direction last week from my mate Ged on night exposure shots. Love it!

3x tribute shots now to Moy Moy, Mary’s family monkey in the Philippines who sadly took his own life this year.

We miss you Moy Moy.

I now step aside and let Oliver take over the blog – well in silence and in the form of, as he said it;

“Artsy fartsy photos.”

Great work Ollie, nicely done matey boy!

I really like this one below mate.

This could be in the hotel brochure or menu – ooh so moody, I’d order one of these pal!

One quick food shot.

Mary and I had the Pho – as the menu called it Pho – Vietnamese beef noodle soup with Angus beef from Australia.

I think they shipped the Angus beef from Australia when the UK first colonized it.

Man it was so TOUGH, I am thinking of taking it to Cambodia House Building this year.
That stuff would sustain itself in any storm, it was harder than the hardwood last year we had to hammer through, in fact you could probably not get a nail through it so maybe not a good idea!

But there were a couple of bits of fillet beef in there that were amazing, so once I had removed all the timber like pieces and left the fillet bits this was bloody love Pho. A little lighter than I am used to but still very very good.

Just guys lose that flank steak you use, or tile the flipping roof with it or something.

Final shots for night number 1.
Me with each of my gang.
Love these my darlings!

I don’t know how Amy broke her neck?
I promise I did not drop her!

Whoops one last one from me.
Ollie’s Artsy Fartsy is catching – a lantern on the table with the lights of the river behind.
Ooooh look at me David Bailey!

Had to again show this with no filtering, touch ups nothing – this is ‘naked’ photography.

It messed our plans of a morning at the pool.

Look at the smog – thanks Indonesia! Even right up here we get this!

Remember that lovely shot of the water wheel last night – this is about 0800.’

Yucks!

Ollie and I luckily get to go to the spa for a massage each.

What did the girls do together?

Not 100% as they were in the room.

I think they got a little bored though.

What do you think?

WTF – Amy has become a kitten AGAIN in 2 days – ha ha ha!

Very cute babe!

It’s lunchtime – off we go again, all wearing masks now (sadly) as was everyone else.

Streets a little more deserted that yesterday as you can see – maybe because of the smog, or maybe because its a Sunday?

Who knows.

Still we loved walking and roaming the streets, taking in the sights and smells of this great place.

Yes I did it again – I went in to ‘antique’ effect for the below.

A street vendor we actually bought from the day before – this chap is selling stewed peanuts, still in the shell – monkey nuts basically that have been boiled in some secret liquid – they are mushy, they are sweet and savoury all at once, they are more-ish, and would go great with a beer – but one is driving one’s family home this afternoon so no beer may be consumed (maybe we should stay another night?)

We had a look again at 88 on Jonkers – packed to the rafters.

Walking back we spotted this joint on a corner.

Like the name – famous, and it mentions the chicken rice balls again that we failed to have yesterday. No queue but very busy in side.

Gets my vote!

Definitely gets my vote – he’s got roast pork too!

Daddy Happy – Daddy Very Happy!

What a wonderful place.

No airs, no graces, simple food being prepared and served with smiles and major efficiency!

Why is it famous.
Because of these little beauties.

The word famous Singaporean chicken rice is taken to new levels (sorry Singapore).

The rice is cooked in chicken stock (massive secret what goes in that), rolled to a ball and steamed to these. I tell you not being a massive rice person, I had 5 of these and ordered 16 take away to bring home – absolutely delicious!

His pork came out top trumps too.

So crispy.

So salty.

So savoury.

Bloody good!

Yes the two monsters equally polished off something like 12 chicken rice balls between them!

Kitten now looking a little more like a Pierrot Clown methinks though!

Mary enjoying her kampong chicken (above). It’s a naturally raised chicken. Its a tad ‘wiry’ for my liking, very lean and therefore served on the bone, and a yellow in colour. She gave it thumbs up. Well she didn’t actually as she wouldn’t put her cutlery down for a second!

As I type this, I just noticed something – it looks like she’s got three breasts doesn’t it – ha ha!The one in the middle is actually here face mask.

Yours truly having a ball of a time – ha ha, excuse the pun.

I was truly in heaven, truly – best meal – and it was a casual lunch only, I loved it.

Seemingly watched on carefully by the Chinese Mafia or FBI.

The chicken with the rice – WOW.

Ollie said – “Best I have ever had”.

Here they are.

A veritable FEAST. Loads of food.

2x chicken, huge portion pork belly, loads of rice balls (more than enough for a game of snooker – in fact 2 games), veggies in form of these amazing bean sprouts, drinks for all and it came to 15GBP tops!

Mum, Miz, Yuko, DK, Haruko, Coleman – when you get back to Sing we’re bringing you to Melacca.

You’ll love it here.

Need I say more.

Final photo from this amazing weekend.

Kitten or Clown – whatever – she enjoyed here VERY much!