One of the last photos I have of the lovely Nina was from our trip to Melacca in Malaysia with our dear friends the Rusieckis and sorry to Kirsty because you didn’t get in the photo. But do you remember I was trying the new tripod camera stand that Laurence had lent me?
Today was a really different one for me as I had my first counselling session since the lovely girl left us. It was quite amazing actually as my Ni was always talking about counselling, but I with my stiff upper lip always rejected it, but she finally got me there today. Just alone sadly.
I had 50 minutes of “what the f*ck am I doing here” and then the last 20 minutes of having an amazing release, literally the best since losing Nina. It was truly amazing as since Nina left us I have spoken to so so many people that all knew her and loved her so well, and of course, you talk about their experience and their love and their sadness and you sort of just update on the status of you and the kids almost numb to pain as you probably have said the same thing many times that day.
Let me apologise to all that read this it really was just the worst experience to be dealing with your sorrow as well as mine, the family & the kids.
The counsellor after 50 minutes of waffle asked me 2 or 3 really basic questions;
“So tell me when you met Nina?”
“What did you love about her?”
“What was she like?”
I have not even thought, or spoken of these things since she died because all conversations are with our friends and family that know us so so well, and I didn’t need to explain this stuff. It was obvious, wasn’t it?
I cried my eyes out and felt such pain and pressure release to remember her for why I did love her so much, something that will never disappear.
My next session is with special photos of her and I am really looking forward to that. Of course, I am not in a million years!!!
