The stArt of the show, show on Pangea the single land-mass of the earth back-in-the-day.

I will forget all the dinosaurs of course, but I believe this was 193 million years ago. 1st carnivores hit the planet. Dilophosaurus perhaps was this one?

Here’s our Paleontologist guide to give some initial scale to these animatronics walking around the arena. See what I mean, so slipping lifelike and huge. This is one of the earliest Herbivores, I think called Igenia Prima from the Triassic period.

A very naughty Allosaurus with a rather voracious appetite came on next and started chasing all the dinosaurs around. Dear me…

He even picked up a little baby dinosaur from a hatching egg and wolfed that down. He really is not someone to ask round to babysit.

Plants then grew which brought many more Herbivores on the scene. These plants are created using the same tech as those weird wobbly blow up people outside shops. But 10,000 times better. Trees and plants grew right before your eyes. Again quite incredible to watch.

Awwwww so cute, tiny little ones scampering all over the place. I knew one from the Triassic once who was known for slicing up white cabbage, carrot and onion and mixing it with mayonnaise. Yep, he was a Dino-Slaw.

One of my favourites now. Stegasaurus. Those plates have a number of uses. I thought originally for cooling down, but yesterday I heard it was to make him look so much bigger than he actually is. Yeah, makes sense, and then to keep his back to the enemy with the huge spiky tail. Tiny brain though. Might be related to Amy after having seen her Math exam results.

That Allosaurus is one cheeky little bugger. Amy’s relative is trying to remember his 10x table, as Allosaurus is coming up behind for a lite bite…

This surely ain’t no kiss chase…

Then the earth started to split with Tectonic Plate movement and Volcanoes erupted from the fissures… I believe this is when the very first Hot Yoga started.

Up next is a monster and this is just a baby. I think this was Brachiosaurus. Check out the scale if this baby to the Paleontologist. Again the size of these animatronics was quite mind-blowing. And I tell you this thing moved as if it were real. So very lifelike.

Our Paleontologist; 1. has too much deodorant on. 2. is describing a fish he caught. 3. describing the dinosaur “I think it’s a boy!”

Then the Mum comes out and adds about another 10 metres to the height in the room. That is seriously tall. This proves there were no Brachiosaurus dinosaurs in the Philippines.

That bloody Allosaurus won’t let up. He’s after anything that moves. Reminds me of a mate of mine back in Margate.

Look at the size of this compared to the audience. It really was mesmerizing to watch these colossal animals lumbering around the arena. Don’t know why, but all I could think of were amazing Tomahawks for ChillaxBBQ…

Bloody brilliant!!!

Awwwwwww. Mum and Baby having a little cuddle. Has to be said though these are not my favourites. I like Tiger long-necks from the hawker much more.

Next era now and Tthe Atlantic Ocean is formed and dinosaurs take flight, starting to resemble birds. Herbivores armour themselves more, and subsequently, the carnivores either get bigger or more intelligent…

Here are our mates The Velociraptor – yes fast bird. Like a chicken with a machine-gun, these are dangerous birds. They even started to sport feathers, with the males sporting the brighter plumage but the females ruling the show. A bit like marriage today!

“Can I go and watch football, pleeeeeeeease Hun?” said the Velociraptor husband.

And then insects came and in turn flowers. Flowers that had to compete then for being pollinated by using colour, fragrance and nectar. In fact how I won my wifey over, wearing a rather nice floral shirt and some quality after-shave.

The largest skull of any living animal belongs to Torosaurus. Cousin of Triceratops I suppose. Massive bloody things. Like buses, you don’t see one for ages and then two…

This is a fight between the young buck challenger and the old-lad that has been the pack leader for ages. Watch the video as you see some of that action happening. Very cleverly done, and very realistic.

I wonder who is going to win? He’s looking a bit sh@t hot in the red corner it has to be said…

And sadly the old fella loses. This thing literally limped away, wounded, defeated and now with a broken horn (really clever how they do that by the way…).

A little bit of Queen pumps out over the tannoy; “I am the Champion…”

Seriously how real does this thing look? It stares at, literally getting eye contact. It is blinking, sniffing and snorting as it does. Hold who is that behind him? Looks like a giant Durian with a head and legs.

This is Ankylosaurus. Again huge. Armour everywhere, and a huge club on the end of its tail. A bit like Chelsea at the moment, a club at the tail-end.

This thing is a beast. Palaeontologist added for scale.

And in comes what I think all kids (and Dad’s) had been waiting for. Marc Bolan. Sorry I mean T-Rex. This was super impressive. A Goliath. Bloody brilliant!!!

She’s big and she is mad, a bit like Dame Edna Everage.

But she loves her baby. See even T-Rex had feathers. Imagine having that drum-stick for Christmas lunch?

And that was the show finished. What a fantastic couple of hours. Loved every minute of it. Just wonderful. And at the end, even the baby T-Rex took a bow. Bless it!